Frequently asked Questions About
Caring Assertiveness

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What is the goal of this book?

The goal of Caring Assertiveness is to equip readers with the knowledge and skills to relate more assertively in all areas of life. The book dispels misconceptions about what assertiveness really is, helping readers understand the benefits of assertive relating and how to be assertive in a wide range of everyday encounters and challenging situations.

Over the decades we’ve been teaching assertiveness at Stephen Ministries, we’ve heard from countless people about how assertive communication has transformed their relationships, given them increased self-confidence, and helped them experience greater respect in their interactions with others. Caring Assertiveness seeks to make these and many other benefits of assertiveness accessible to all who read it.

Doesn’t being assertive mean being pushy, demanding, and self-centered?

Those words describe aggressive behavior, which is often confused with assertiveness. True assertiveness—which is what this book is all about—involves relating directly, honestly, and with respect. In our research, we found that there are a lot of misconceptions about what it means to be assertive, so a major emphasis early in the book is clarifying what assertiveness really is. Chapter 2 provides this definition:

“Assertive behavior is a positive, constructive way of relating in which a person clearly, honestly, directly, and confidently expresses their own thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs—while also respecting the thoughts, feelings, wants, and needs of others.”

The rest of the book provides strategies, techniques, and skills for relating in a wide range of everyday situations, showing how to effectively implement this approach to living and relating in your life.

Who would benefit from reading this book?

Caring Assertiveness is beneficial for everyone—anyone can use this book to grow in this area. That includes individuals wanting to relate more assertively in their daily life, businesses, organizations, and churches, as well as those looking to strengthen the communication and relational skills of their employees, staff, constituents, and members.

The book is written in a clear, accessible, and relational style, making it appropriate for readers of high school age and up.

Could we use this book in a class or course?

Definitely—Caring Assertiveness can be used for teaching general audiences and specific groups of all kinds. Those who reviewed the book prior to publication came from a wide range of professions and backgrounds, and many of them shared the opportunities they found to apply the book and its principles both personally and professionally. Call our office at (314) 428-2600 for more information about the Caring Assertiveness Discussion Guide.

What research went into writing the book?

At Stephen Ministries, we’ve been researching and writing about assertiveness and teaching assertiveness skills for decades. Caring Assertiveness draws on that foundation. In addition, in writing this book, we did extensive research with more than 4,000 people through focus groups, surveys, and interviews. We gathered people’s impressions about various facets of assertiveness, learned about their challenge areas, and gathered their stories and experiences. We also sent the manuscript out for review to 414 readers in four different rounds, updating it each time based on their feedback.