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Since 1975 Stephen Ministries St. Louis has been helping congregations equip lay persons to provide one-to-one Christian care to those who are experiencing a crisis or going through a difficult time. Over the years Stephen Ministry congregations may train scores or even a hundred or more members as Stephen Ministers. Congregations affected by a variety of disasters have told us these trained caregivers are like "money in the bank"--an investment that pays dividends exactly when they're needed.
Following are eight ways we encourage Stephen Series congregations to provide hope and healing to those whose lives have been abruptly and forever changed by a natural or human-caused disaster.
Healing rarely happens without planning and effort. Think about what you personally can do, what your congregation can do, what your Stephen Ministers and other caregivers can do. Encourage people to do what they can, to care in ways they have been trained or gifted to help.
Jesus promises, "'Where two or three come togther in my name, there am I with them'" (Matthew 18:20 NIV). God works healing through Christian community. Encourage existing communities--church choir, Sunday school classes, youth groups, Bible study or fellowship groups--to take time to share with one another their thoughts and feelings about what has happened. Help those who aren't part of any group connect with others for mutual care and support. Whenever people gather, provide a calm, reassuring, nonjudgmental atmosphere in which they can speak honestly and be heard. Be aware of those who are hurting very badly, and consider offering them more focused, one-to-one Christian care, such as that of a Stephen Minister.
Provide special opportunities for people to experience two-way communication with God. Help them become aware of God's loving, caring presence in their lives and in the world. Have Stephen Ministers or other trained caregivers available after worship services to pray one-on-one with people who need to connect with God individually. Offer Stephen Ministers as listening, praying partners for those who find the pain of the crisis too much to bear alone.
Point people to God's Word for strength and comfort. The Gospels and many Old Testament stories provide examples of people we can easily relate to who were threatened and in danger and who found courage and strength, hope and help in God. The Psalms can put words to the anguish we feel as we cry out to God for help. The roll call of God's faithful people in the past (Hebrews 11) encourages and inspires us today. Offer Stephen Ministers to "bear one another's burdens, and in this way . . . fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2 NRSV).
Listening is a healing act. Give people the opportunity--and permission--to express the intense feelings they may be experiencing. The Stephen Ministry training module "Ministering to Those Experiencing Grief" describes the Shock, Recoil, and Recovery stages of grief and how to care for people in each stage. Victims or survivors of disasters typically pass through these same stages as individuals who are grieving losses not necessarily tied to disasters do. Stephen Ministers know that a key to caring is to be present with people, listen to what they have to say, encourage them to express their feelings, and accept them with the unconditional love that God extends to us.
Many times people are isolated or isolate themselves following a disaster. Seek out a neighbor, especially one who is homebound or chronically ill, and spend some time letting that person express his or her feelings. While you don't want to force yourself upon them, you want to be sure they know you are available to listen, care, and be with them. Offer to provide regular care and support, such as Stephen Ministry, to those outside your congregation who may have no one to care for them.
Gather for special worship services of healing and remembrance. Let people come in touch with their suffering and offer it to God. Invite people to look to God for help and hope--in the worshiping community, in word and sacrament, and in symbol and music. Have Stephen Ministers or other trained caregivers available to listen to or pray with people individually during or following the services. Many times these contacts may point to the need for a longer-term caring relationship with a Stephen Minister.
Pastors, counselors, Stephen Ministers, and others give a lot of themselves to those who need help in the aftermath of disaster. Caregivers who share others' pain may experience a weariness that is the result of not only how many hours they've served, but also the very difficult and personal nature of caring.
Pastors, Stephen Leaders, Stephen Ministers, and other caregivers need to lay down their own burdens for a time so that they can return to their ministry refreshed. Stephen Ministers find this support in their twice-monthly supervision groups. Stephen Leaders extend care and support to one another and to their pastors. Find ways for your congregation to recognize and affirm the efforts of your pastors and other caregivers and provide care and support for them as they minister to others.
As time passes and the immediacy of the initial events recedes, people need to normalize their lives. Give people permission to move back into their routines. Tell them that they don't have to be in mourning forever and that it's all right and even important for them to be happy together, relax, recreate, and have fun. Plan some fun events around food, so people can enjoy eating and being in one another's company. Find ways to help people pick up the pieces and go on, changed, yet trusting ultimately that God will never abandon us, but is with us always--to the end of the age.
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www.stephenministries.org
Click here to download "Eight Ways Congregations Can Respond with Care after a Disaster" in Adobe Acrobat PDF format.