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Lay Ministries Help
Serve the Hurting

By Kara Isham Staff Writer
Benton County Daily Record
Bentonville, Arkansas
Sunday, December 22, 2002

BENTON COUNTY--The Christmas season is undoubtedly a time of joy and delight that makes many people blessings. However, for some, Christmas can be a difficult time of sadness and stress.

The holiday season can be almost unbearable for those who have lost loves ones or those battling depression.

For those who are suffering in the community, during the Christmas season and throughout the year, a national lay ministry exists to provide one-on-one care and attention.

Founded in 1975 by the Rev. Kenneth C. Haugk, the Stephen Ministries of St. Louis equips congregations with the ability to minister to those who are hurting or otherwise in need of frequent attention.

The interdenominational ministry provides training materials and guidance for churches that want to participate, helping them to develop ministers who will spend time with a suffering person, called a care receiver, on a weekly basis.

The communications department of the Stephen Ministries of St. Louis reports 19 active Stephen Ministry churches in the northwest Arkansas area.

Pastors in these churches assign Stephen Ministers to a care receiver, who could be dealing with a variety of circumstances, including hospitalization, grief, family sickness, death, depression, suicide, inability to leave home and divorce.

Stephen Ministers are not licensed therapists, but they do make referrals to licensed professionals if they feel a person needs more assistance than they can offer.

Stephen Ministers mostly describe themselves as trained listeners.

Judith Lund of St. Theodore's Episcopal Church in Bella Vista was a Stephen Minister and Leader for nine years until she moved to northwest Arkansas. She said the ministry basically offers Christian friendship. "Whatever trials are thrown at us, sometimes it can be too much for someone to go on their own," Lund said. "The program means having someone to talk with and listen to their burdens."

Lund said the Stephen Ministers do not replace family, neighbors or friends, but add to these relationships. "It keeps the person close to the church body and lets them know they are not forgotten," Lund said.

Stephen Ministers and Leaders also agree that the confidentiality between a minister and a care receiver is vital. Only an assigned minister and the pastor or leader who makes the assignments know the identity of a care receiver.

Besides helping those who are in need of a listening ear, the ministers and leaders believe that Stephen Ministry also helps the congregation and the community.

Associate Pastor Jane Mar of Peace Lutheran Church in Rogers said Stephen Ministers help to extend pastoral care to more members of the congregation. "The Stephen Ministers are a wonderful gift to pastors," she said. "There are a variety of needs in a congregation that they help to meet."

Mar said the ministry also helps members of the congregation by providing them with an opportunity to serve in the ministry and use their spiritual gifts.

Many Stephen Ministers say they receive as much from the ministry as they give. "The training helps with work and family life, teaching basic life skills," said Martha Biddinger, a Stephen Minister with Peace Lutheran. "I wish everyone took the training."

Loretta Gallagher, a Stephen Leader from St. Stephen Catholic Church in Bentonville, said the ministry has helped her to interact with and learn more about Christians from other denominations. "It's probably been one of the best focuses of Christianity for me," she said.

Gallagher said she also appreciates the ministry from the viewpoint of a care receiver. "I lost my husband two years ago, and my Stephen Ministry family really came though for me," she said.

Congregation members are often encouraged to participate in the ministry. To become a Stephen Minister, a member must take 50 hours of training, taking lessons in listening, confidentiality, professionalism and using resources, among others.

Most churches in the northwest Arkansas area require a minimum two-year commitment from members who want to join the ministry, and after their training, ministers attend monthly supervision meetings and continuing education courses.

Those interested in continuing their commitment with the Stephen Ministries can train to be Stephen Leaders, who teach, supervise meetings and help to connect ministers with care receivers.

Overall, Mar said, the program helps church members share their gifts of nurturing and compassion in order to let the hurting know they are accepted and loved.

Mar said there are probably many people in the area who are in need of a Stephen Minister, but are unaware of the program's existence.

Reprinted by permission of Benton County Daily Record.

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