Journeying through Grief Giver's Guide
Price: $2.95

Caring Criticism: Building Bridges Instead of Walls
Price: $9.95

Journeying through Grief
Price: $9.95

Don't Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart: How to Relate to Those Who Are Suffering
Price: $13.95

More than a Parting Prayer: Lessons in Care-Giving for the Dying
Price: $15.00

New Resources for
a Caring Congregation:
Don't Sing Songs
to a Heavy Heart
and Journeying through Grief
at First Presbyterian Church,
Greenwood, South Carolina

By Laura Wasson Warfel, for Stephen Ministries

When Stephen Ministries released Don't Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart and Journeying through Grief in summer 2004, First Presbyterian's Stephen Ministry was quick to recognize the benefit of both resources for hurting people.

This 10-year Stephen Ministry congregation has found great uses for both.

Don't Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart

When Stephen Leader Peggy Hammett saw the information about Don't Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart on the Stephen Ministries Web site, she immediately ordered a copy for herself. "This is the best stuff I've seen in a long time," she said. "Concrete, definite things to say and not to say.

"God has used Dr. Haugk and his grief at the tragic death of his wife to help others through this book. Everything he says is so helpful to those who are ministering to hurting people. He speaks from the heart."

Peggy spread the word about Don't Sing Songs to others in the congregation.

"I told our session how good the book is and sang its praises, so the entire session--and the deacons--decided to read it. They liked it very much. Now every month one of them does a devotion from one of the chapters."

She ordered copies of Don't Sings Songs for all their Stephen Ministers and for the members of the training class--and the Stephen Leader Team plans to use Don't Sing Songs with all future training classes.

They've found other uses for this book as well. "Most recently we've started a class called Stephen Ministry Teen Class," Peggy said. "We don't train them to be Stephen Ministers; we just present a simplified version of some of the training sessions for their personal growth. We include ideas from various caring topics--drugs, alcohol, suicide, etc. Don't Sing Songs was their only required reading. We just did a round table discussion--it really opened their eyes about what to say and what not to say.

"They just love the book. They've come to me and said, ‘I cannot believe that I am so dumb! I didn't see that saying [whatever] was bad until I read it in print.' Some of the kids who went through our teen class said, ‘I'm getting ready to go off to college, and I'm so glad I'll know what to say and what not to say.'

"We're all wounded healers, and we've all heard those things," Peggy observed. "We've all learned a lot."

Journeying through Grief

In a congregation as caring as First Presbyterian, it's no surprise that the church sends a set of Journeying through Grief to each member of the congregation who has lost a loved one. One Stephen Minister keeps track of when each book needs to be sent to each member.

The books have been enthusiastically received. "We've often received thank-you notes," Peggy said.

"One man told me, 'This was written by someone who has been where I am; he had lost his wife to cancer also. He is speaking to me.'"

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