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Fresh Bread and Other Gifts of Spiritual Nourishment
Price: $11.95
The Promise of Hope: Coping When Life Caves In
Price: $9.95
Journeying through Grief
Price: $9.95
Don't Sing Songs to a Heavy Heart: How to Relate to Those Who Are Suffering
Price: $13.95
ChristCare Equippers' Sharing the ChristCare Series Kit
ChristCare Groups
Anchors in the Storm
When ChristCare members face crisis and difficulty, they don't have to face it alone. The group is there, ready to be the face of Christ and their anchor in the storm, offering the care that others just can't provide.
"When you're going through a difficult time, family is an asset. But sometimes you just need someone who isn't related to you, yet who you know will be there for you, whatever happens," said ChristCare Equipper and Group Leader Marcia Smith of Scotia United Methodist Church in Scotia, New York. "I think that's why people are really blessed by ChristCare."
Marcia has seen firsthand the blessing of ChristCare Groups.
A Firm Support in Times of Anxiety
When a couple in Marcia's ChristCare Group who had long wanted children finally became pregnant for the first time, the entire group shared their joy.
They also shared more than the usual fear and uncertainty over whether all would go well.
"It was a difficult pregnancy," Marcia said. "The wife had to stay home and keep her feet up. She would go to the doctor one day and be okay, then she would have to spend a night in the hospital. This went on for about five months. They were really worried about what might happen."
The husband and wife were private people, not inclined to share much detail about the situation. The ChristCare Group respected their need for privacy by providing a quiet, consistently supportive presence. "We would send a card, or call to make sure they were okay, or bring food over to their place now and then," Marcia said.
"I think they really appreciated knowing that if they needed an outlet, they could come to us and share what they were feeling and thinking," Marcia said. "We didn't do anything big; we weren't taking her to the doctor or visiting the hospital in the middle of the night. But I think the knowledge that we were there and praying for them, even just communicated in a note or e-mail, reminded them to relax and have confidence that God would take care of everything in his own way."
When the baby finally arrived, safe and healthy, the new parents invited Marcia and her husband, as well as the other married couple in the ChristCare Group, to become the baby's godparents.
"We had really grown close because of the time we spent together, all that we'd been through and all that we'd shared," Marcia said.
Lasting Care and Friendship
That ChristCare Group has since disbanded, and a new one will begin soon. The couples from that original group, however, still meet often for dinner or just to be together. They keep in touch; they stay current on what's happening in one another's lives--and they still care.
"The best part of it is that we care for one another," Marcia said. "More than anything, that brings about closeness. It makes ChristCare a great place to develop Christian friendships that can truly change your life."
The fellowship that develops in a ChristCare Group is unlike any other. While it doesn't involve the in-depth, one-to-one personal attention of a Stephen Ministry* relationship, the group gathers to give and receive support when it's needed most. "Just knowing there's a group of people to listen to you, to be there with you on a regular basis, to hold you in their arms if that's what you need--it's a unique environment," Marcia said.
Strength for the Journey
Equipper Sherri Kreissig from Hope Lutheran Church in Temecula, California, can attest to the value of the caring environment of ChristCare Groups.
One of the women in Sherri's group, "Strength for the Journey," recently lost her husband. "Within a few minutes, we were all in the hospital, huddled around her, praying for her, lifting her up.
"The next day in church, we did that again," Sherri said. "Going through that with her really increased the intensity of our closeness."
Within six months, another woman in the group lost both her husband and her son. At once the group rallied around her as well.
"One woman took the recently bereaved one under her wing," Sherri said. "She organized people to bring all kinds of food to the woman's house so that she wouldn't have to think about planning meals. Together we even set up a reception after the funeral."
The group continues to care for both women even now. "We all make sure we have contact with them," Sherri said. "We all keep an eye out to make sure that they're doing okay. They're in our prayers all the time."
Growing in Depth through Sharing Grief
When Equipper Genevieve Tomlinson of Bellevue First United Methodist Church in Bellevue, Washington, first heard the bulletin on the radio back in 1999 that a small aircraft had crashed and that the pilot was dead, she knew immediately that the pilot had been her husband of 48 years, Harry--because he would have called to let her know he was all right.
"It was a big shock," she said.
Genevieve called her pastor to let him know what happened. The pastor in turn called two members of the ChristCare Group that Genevieve and Harry had led. "They were there almost as soon as the pastor was," Genevieve said.
The rest of the group told Genevieve that they knew she probably didn't feel like leading their next scheduled meeting, which was in two days. They said they would just stay home. "'Oh no, you won't,' I told them," Genevieve said. "'I need you right now--and you need me. We need to talk through this together.'"
Talk they did, that night and for months to come. "We laughed together. We cried together. Some people have a hard time verbalizing what they feel when they're grieving, but I think it's important to be verbal about those things," Genevieve said. "My ChristCare Group gave me a place to do that.
"The group learned that it was okay to talk about Harry and bring him up in conversation. Remembering him together brought us closer. At that point we'd been together for three or four years and were close already, but when something of that magnitude hits a group, it truly bonds you. Our sharing was a lot deeper after that."
Confidentiality is vital for protecting that depth, Genevieve said. "I have always stated and restated to my group: 'Remember, what we've said does not go beyond us.' That allows us to care deeply for each other in hard times.
"People are more willing to bare their souls when they know their privacy will be preserved."
That depth of sharing has allowed real connections to develop between group members--connections that offer both strength and perspective in the most emotional moments of life.
"It's been seven years now since Harry died, and last week one of our church members came up to me. 'I've been thinking about you all week,' he said. 'You've handled your husband's death so beautifully. How is it that you were able to do this when so many people can't?' I told him that it was my faith, family, the care and counseling from our pastor--and my ChristCare Group. That's what got me through this time."
* Note: While ChristCare Groups can and should be on the front lines of providing care for members in crisis, it's important that the ChristCare Group Leader keep a close eye on whether the person in crisis needs more care than the group can give. If the single group member's needs continue to be the primary focus of the group for many meetings or if the person seems to be in need of more personal care, talk with that group member privately about the possibility of other, more focused care--a Stephen Minister, a counselor, or some other professional care.
